Toddlers & Tiaras & Patriarchy

The issues with Toddlers & Tiaras are very well-documented. I had only ever seen clips of the show until this weekend when, after discovering my TV picks up a lot of extra channels, I was sucked in to an episode. I use that phrase because I was increasingly upset the more I watched, yet I did not turn it off. Is this what what watchers of Jersey Shore, Hoarders, Real Housewives, etc. experience?

In my lifetime, I will probably never wear the amount of makeup or hairspray these girls do by the time they are four years old. My mind was blown by the implications of teaching girls from infancy to value appearance,materialism, winning, and a very limited definition of "beauty." The rules of pageants are so specific. Hair is big, skin is tanned, faces are painted, nails are manicured, and outfits are covered in frills and sparkles. Girls are told repeatedly that winning is the most important thing. Mothers are open about the thousands of dollars spent on preparing girls for pageants and the coercion it takes to get their daughters to practice routines. Girls often win prizes, but responses from caregivers convey disappointment in anything but the highest crown and frustration at the time and money spent to "lose." Girls do not appear to be validated for their efforts nor praised for any accomplishments.

Girls are coached in their walks, dances, smiles, and mannerisms. There is often an element of sexuality in their presentations. Ultimately when girls grow up, they will have to unlearn the belief that their appearance is the most valuable thing about them. When I see young girls wearing very little clothing and dancing suggestively in pageants, I wonder how that will affect them when they mature into young women. I could see this having long-term implications on self-esteem, relationships, and consent for girls.

Pageants are not a part of my culture. I cannot process their role in any culture; however, I recognize their prevalence in some areas. I question whether these areas have the resources or these mothers the value systems to allow pageant girls to become empowered women. I can't even enjoy this show as escapism. I wonder whether the pressure and sexualization placed on these children does not allow them the room to be children and pursue other hobbies and talents that may contribute to a healthy future. I wish there be some "15 years later..." followups to console me.

Good luck, girls.